Grandma Is Mine!

Blogger is moody today and doesn't allow me to upload pictures.

Here is the complete post elsewhere: https://sotto.substack.com/p/grandma-is-mine

When I adopted Locky, I had given up my desire to have a dog because I traveled frequently. Then, a colleague who found out asked me to take him because they had too many dogs at home (with a new puppy litter). It came with a perk that Locky could stay with them anytime I traveled. I hesitated. I liked bigger dogs and almost adopted one from a shelter, but this perk and a pup that needed a home won the consideration. The arrangement is still ongoing, although all the other dogs (six of them, including Locky’s mom, siblings, half-siblings, and another dog) have crossed the rainbow bridge.

My colleague’s parents are always the ones who take care of the dogs. They are very kind, and although their way of caring for the dogs is more ‘traditional,’ they love those dogs unconditionally. They are always happy to see Locky, and Locky loves them all the same. Besides the lack of visual communication (they don’t keep up with technology), I feel safe leaving Locky to them when I have to. When all their dogs had passed not too long ago, I would bring Locky to the market where his ‘grandma’ works so they could meet for a while.

Now, they have another dog. He is still a puppy, less than one year old, but unexpectedly a big puppy (they were misled), and when I called yesterday, I found out that Locky is a demanding bully. He would walk with a swag and give this Kiddo a yap whenever he felt like it (he is probably 1/3 the size). Kiddo is not allowed to walk in front of his space, which is basically everywhere he could see. He seems to emphasize that although Kiddo stays there now, Locky was there first, and Kiddo doesn’t want to mess with this small, cute, but grumpy old man. Then, my little aholish fluff demands that his grandma pay no attention to the Kiddo. He doesn’t want to share his grandma; she is ‘not allowed’ to do anything with the Kiddo, and he complains whenever his grandma even walks in the Kiddo’s direction, while his grandpa, whom he loves slightly less than grandma, is allowed. Grandma doesn’t mind, and we laugh about it. It makes her feel special in a way.

So, yeah, I am currently away for family health reasons and miss him so much. How I wish I had a way to travel through space to meet my loved ones at any time.

Enough dog story for a day; I have plenty for another day. Now, books!

I want to say thank you to my beta readers; you all have been wonderful. I really appreciate your time and effort. I read and consider all inputs, they really help in making this WIP a better book. This has been an ongoing, wonderful, and humbling journey. My cover is almost ready, and I have finally decided on the title. Woohoo! My schedule is still on track, and everything is shaping up great.

Thank you always for being here.

I hope that today, everything that troubles you will be resolved, and that everything that makes you happy will be cherished and stay with you. Take good care of yourself.

The Curse of the Left Staircase

 

My second job working abroad was with a big corporation. The first one didn’t really count, it was a start-up, and the company went bankrupt in less than a year. However, it gave me some credentials to apply for permanent residency in that country. This second job in this corporation was somewhat related to my field, but I wasn’t very good at it yet (It was a new skill). I had no idea why they hired me after multiple interviews, maybe because it wasn’t a common skill back then, and I was a fresh graduate, just obtained my Permanent Residency; therefore, they could pay me peanuts.

I lasted five years there, but my first year was torturous. I felt anxious; I had no one to ask, and the internet was not that common/readily available yet, so I couldn’t just google what I didn’t understand. I had to be able to do what they paid me to do. I acted confident, but behind that, I struggled like a duck paddling underwater while pretending to be calm and collected. I learned, practiced, and worked late on my own so that I could deliver results and survive another paycheck to pay for rent in the foreign land, or I would die!

Fortunately, I improved as time passed, and most of my colleagues and my boss were decent.  However, there were nightmarish times and restless days. Unhappy boss, unreasonable deadline that I wasn’t good enough to tackle, and uncooperative hardware and software.

Then, I noticed one peculiar thing.

I had to take the subway every morning. Just like that daily montage in mind-numbing movies, I would take the same-timing train, board the same car, and alight at the same station through the same door in the middle of the train. It was as mundane as it sounds. After alighting, before me was a wide stair that would branch into two sides, right and left, because there was a lift core in the middle. Both sides of the stairs led to the same exit platform, so it shouldn’t be a problem whichever side I took right?

Wrong!

Every time I took the left staircase, my day would be horrible. I wasn’t happy with my work, anxious time, had imposter syndrome, high stress level, computer crashing, unsaved work, my mug looking at me funny, my colleague trying to kill me, something along those lines. I started to notice and didn’t believe it at first, and of course, it must have been a coincidence, with a splash of logic. The left staircase was closer to the exit, which I chose whenever I was in a hurry. Sometimes, when we were in project competition season, the schedule would be very tight, so I wanted to get to the office faster. The irony! Those were the times when the stress level and demand were high; therefore, it linked to horrible days.

Still, why would I risk it? I started taking only the right stairs, and for some reason, my days were better. The logic was that I was getting better at my work and was able to juggle the tasks, schedule, and expectations better. But hey, the stair theory worked!

Am I a superstitious person? I don’t think so. I am not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. However, I grew up in a family that respected tradition, including ‘good days.’ This belief exists in many cultures, there are good days to do important things. My mom uses this practice as needed. She picked our wedding dates (it works well!). She doesn’t just open up the calendar and select a good-looking number (just like all volume levels should be even numbers or dividable by five or the world will end!), but there is a ‘calculation.’ Date of birth, time of birth, type of thing to do, etc.

I have been asking her to pick my book publishing dates. So far, it doesn’t work well because I could never get the dates right (yeah, that is the reason, not because I suck at marketing) because of the time zones. Amazon’s time zone was in a twilight zone because I swear, on my last book release, I stayed up late to sync the timing, the one I am alive in and the one in Amazon’s universe so they both would fall on the same date that Mom had picked for me. It still didn’t work and the date was still wrong!

This time, hopefully, I will get it right, although I have no idea how to do that since I did everything right the last time. Yes, all these rambles are just a long-winded way to let you know that I’m happy to announce that my new book is coming out soon. It was supposed to come out in 2024, but my and my dog’s operations occupied us too much. Yeah, I’m stubborn and will continue to write if there is another person who likes it.

BOOK REVIEW: THINKING WITH RHYTHM (CECILIA ANASTOS)

A tricky book to read. The stories are both all over the place and never going anywhere, about everything and about nothing. They jump from real and fictional characters, back and forth, from different periods without warning, from another love of her life to another love of her life. Then the book switches to current political affairs, then something about movies, then a long preach about things that, I have to say, underestimate readers’ intelligence, drawing shallow conclusions, and poorly informed research, basing on theories that had been challenged multiple times. One of the examples is about TV influence.

I like non-linear time frames if they’re done well. I’m sorry this is not the case. There are incomplete words and a story that stops mid-sentence and changes to another chapter (end of Chapter: Abram) with different elements: another POV, now first person, non-fictional, about something else unrelated.

Overall, I don’t feel this is a coherent book. It’s like a diary entry with a plethora of names, mixed with writing ideas, opinion pieces about current news and entertainment, and social media level of analysis thrown and bundled together.

I failed to relate to the characters and there is barely any plot. Some of the stories are entertaining, like when the author went on a road trip with her brother and cat. Unfortunately, most of the content is dominated by Alessandra’s endless love affairs, told like one-dimensional weather forecasts and chapters about anything and everything else.

Please don’t count on my review; books are subjective, and I’m sure some readers might appreciate this unusual piece.

2 stars out of 5

Authors' Drama

 

I don't go to Twitter daily. I tried to, but I must be in a good mindset to log in. It used to be miserable; I would 'sit' in the corner because I had no one to talk with, and my posts were not seen. Well, now my posts are still mostly unseen, and I am crawling, barely existing, but at least it's more enjoyable now. I've made some connections with other genuine authors, and although only a few of them see my posts, it's okay. I prefer quality over quantity, thankful my circle is decent and supportive. At least I feel more confident about just putting my thoughts out there (with many restrictions because some people might be offended merely by others' breathing).

I usually log in at odd times because of the time zone, when almost everyone sleeps. Then, of course, I always missed all the dramas (this is not a complaint).

I thought the writing industry was peaceful, but nah. There are so many writing dramas. If I missed them, I didn't really try to find out, but most of the time, I would get the context, or someone would explain it somewhere. To my surprise, most of the time, the dramas are between authors or by authors.

Dramas about what?

So far, an author faking reviews to thrash other authors because she saw them as competitors (this one blew up everywhere), authors criticizing other's writing styles they don't like (constructive criticisms are good, but the ones I saw were not those), authors spewing curses on some writing methods/formats, authors criticizing reviewers (rating, review style, review length), author attacking other authors for something not related to books, something related to books, and many more.

Apparently, some think their styles are the best, others are wrong, reviewers should abide by them, and other authors are competitors. I thought this should be a somewhat educated and intelligent industry. Apparently not. Why would other authors become competitors? Readers don't read one book, call it quit and stop reading. They are not betrothed, married, or surgically attached to ONE author and can only read one author because otherwise, the earth will open up and swallow everyone, Krakens will rule the land, and T-rex will come back with muscular and properly-sized hands. Most likely, if they like a style or a genre, they will seek something similar. We need other authors to keep the industry alive! To fight the Terminators!

For me, as much as other authors' negativities do ruin my day sometimes (the harshest words and reviews mostly come from authors), I take the positive of the community. There are many great, supportive authors and readers out there, and I cherish them because the industry is hard enough. Some criticisms are good, and some are harmful, so IMHO, the most important thing is to write for yourself and your readers, don't be discouraged. If you haven't and want to start writing, don't be discouraged. If you are a reader and/or a reviewer, thank you, and don't be discouraged. Most authors appreciate you and don't let a few ungrateful ones ruin what you do.

As far as I know, all industries have their ugliness. I usually expect the ugliness to come from other sides, not those who are supposed to be on the same side.

You are here. It means you are awesome. Thank you.

As for my book, I need more time to sort it out. I had a family reunion last month in my hometown; I slept on the floor, many interactions stressed me out, I didn't have privacy and couldn't concentrate on writing. It was tortuous but the food was good, I was properly fed. I love them.

The Ultimate Price of Growing Old

 

I’ve just tidied up some of my book collection, reminiscing the days I bought them home and devoured them. However, just like any other normal sensical reader out there, there are many that I haven’t read yet.

When words started to get blurry, and I had to get my first glasses, I gradually enjoyed reading and other meticulous hobbies less. I thought that was the price of growing old. When I breathed and sprained a muscle instead of being immortal when I was young, I thought that was the price of growing old.

They are not. The ultimate price of growing old is watching my parents and loved ones do the same. My dad is no longer the strong man I know, capable of almost anything. It pains me to see him taking longer and longer to get up from the floor (he loves playing with Locky) and how his back hunch, how my mom has less and less ability to do her hobbies, but regardless of that, both are still the first one to be there whenever we need them. It’s hard to hold Locky in my arms and know that the more I prepare for the imminent day of losing him, the harder it will be.

I wrote about humans being fragile and full of flaws because of our attachments to others and the what-if options of not having them. A projection, much? I think it’s fair to say that it’s a very real fear for many forever.

Somewhere, if you are not in a good place because you are missing someone or harboring the same fear as me, I wish you peace and strength.

I'm at another editing round of my new book and will be looking for beta readers soon. As long as one person likes my book, I'll continue writing. (Oh yeah, myself included) (I'm not as strong as my younger self, but I'm more stubborn and spiteful, and those keep me going :)

BOOK REVIEW: JOANNA JAMES' JOURNAL (TRISH HENRY GREEN)

 

What I like the most about this book is the earlier few chapters. The reality is gripping, and I feel for the character. The fear of growing old, getting out of the familiar and comfort zone, and watching something she has built over decades crumbling down. It's heartbreaking to see the indifference when someone closest to her slowly becomes a stranger, especially when she has given him her best younger years.

 

The almost drama-free separation also works well, and I can see it happening between two responsible adults. I'm grateful for it because I had become the shoulder to cry on and ears for the ugly and childish similar processes in the past. There were many moments when I wondered how something beautiful turned into an empty shell of itself, sometimes crushed and withered without a trace. So, I find the book's first quarter very powerful and realistic.

 

Regrettably, everything goes in another direction from there. It feels cringey and meta when every character the MC meets loves her book. The story turns into a mundane diary entry style with many fillers, but fair enough, it's a journal, after all. I understand the nature of slow burn in this kind of story, but nevertheless, I feel a bit lost, and unfortunately, it never picks up for me again. I sincerely hope these kinds of stories happen in real life somehow, somewhere, and often, but it gets fairy-tallish, which is the path many romance stories take as the ending. From the gripping emotional and realistic character's life, it turns into Melrose place strings of events.  The book sends the message that the character manages to overcome her fear, insecurities, and the biggest turn in her life, which I applaud. Unfortunately, it's hard to get the point across when everything comes that easy, and the MC has everything cut out perfectly for her financially and romantically with every support imaginable. I get that there are still 'ups and downs,' but I really think only a tiny percentage of ordinary people can relate to all those because it turns into a fairy tale that is loved by many daytime TV viewers and becomes unrealistic. I love being wrong and wish many people had this kind of life.

 

Moving past my nitpick, I think the book is well written, there are many likable characters, and the dialogues are believable. There are many funny snippets here and there, and I also like realistic characters like the fireman and the con artist who conducts the worst writing class ever. It's easy to continue reading, and I actually finished the last 60% in one sitting.

4 out of 5

 

BOOK REVIEW: WHEN THE MIND AWAKENS (OBINNA ONWUGBENE)

 

When I was young, I read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. To be honest, I barely remember what I read now, and I'm not sure it would work the same now that it has been almost three decades later. Still, I can safely say I learned several things from it, mainly because there are concrete ways to implement the strategies in realistic situations, not merely theories.

Personally, this book is exhausting to read. The points are repetitive, and it almost feels like, for each point, I would read multiple permutations that say the same thing, some theories also tend to repeat in another chapter. The book feels like a prolonged preaching without offering real insights or solutions. True, there are many good bits of advice here and there, but they are apparent points that barely add any skill or more profound understanding. Sometimes, the authors are a bit out of touch. These are not the actual quotes but the impressions I got. Do you feel stressed about bills? Then, pay the bills. Is there an obstacle? Overcome it. Be motivated. Surround yourself with influential people. Crank your self-esteem. Save your money. Believe in yourself. If you do these, you will succeed.

They sound good, but what do I learn? Elaborate theories. There are examples given in story format, which, in my opinion, is the more effective way to do it, but most are very basic and don't inspire much; they are also far between.

As mushy and predictable as they could sometimes be, the Chicken Soup for the Souls series actually provides many inspiring stories and ways to face realistic difficulties and challenges. They are good at opening the mind to looking at things from different perspectives.

I'm very sure the author is a very wonderful and optimistic person, and he means to help people with this book. I genuinely believe and applaud that. Unfortunately, challenges in life are not black and white. Theories are good (maybe), but I think most decently motivated people already know most of those; the challenge is how to fit them into specific circumstances, which is the area in which we need the most help. And unfortunately, it is hard to find a good fit without adjustments, and in reality, nicely polished advice doesn't apply to everyone.

This is my personal opinion though. It might fit into what others are looking for.

3 out of 5