Hearts at War (Christa Nonnemaker)

A simple and sometimes cliché' love story before, during, and after World War II. The story stretches from the characters' childhood until they return from the war.

I like to read about many aspects behind the actual war, and it must have been a lot of work to research them. WWII's impact is felt everywhere, even by the generations born after that. My grandparents had a lot of tales about it, some of the most inspiring and terrifying ones.

The book centres around two characters' relationship, the war, and racism in many forms. I like that the author explores the variety of them, the three primary forms that still exist today: associations, colours, and genocide. What is sad about reading historical books or historical fiction for me is we have learned very little, have we?

In my opinion, the book can be tightened up a lot; there are a lot of unnecessary actions, explanations, and repeated information, like a small synopsis of things that happen only a few pages or a few chapters back. The dialogues feel clunky at times, almost indistinguishable between characters, as their personalities feel very similar, especially the parade of the main characters' friends. The exchanges also use 'names' all the time. I'm sure most readers can follow fine about who is talking because it feels weird reading 'Betty asked X this, Betty gestures, X replied, Betty was glad X did something, said Betty, X sighed, and so on'. It feels very stiff. The book seems to have two writing styles because when it's not dialogues, it flows better with using pronouns instead of names all the time. Sometimes, they are detailed descriptions of feelings and surroundings, while others are just unclear perceived expositions.

Having said that, overall, it's a slow and nice read. It's not boring as I learn many things and relate them to tales I know. The love story is heartwarming, and the title is very fitting.

4 out of 5

Newhope (Ed Morawski)

I didn’t know what to expect when I first read this book, wary that it would be overly religious from the blurb.

The book starts strong, we are thrust right into action, and it’s easy to read. There is a murder in what seems like a peaceful small town where crime is unheard of and everything is meticulously orderly. At least that was what I was prepared for a few chapters, then something, a very weirdly worded proposal, threw me off.

I will try to keep this vague and brief, but warning not to read ahead if we want to experience this book fully.

There are times when I thought the book ventures around the territory of Louis Lowry (The Giver), which I am not a fan of. Fortunately, it has a much more satisfactory conclusion, and the journey to get there is both fascinating and weird in a good way. I didn’t expect the span of the period, the way characters come and go, and what I thought would be a repetitive circle turns out to be different. I like how it’s built up, the mystery behind everything, and how the story is told. Even though I don’t have answers to all my questions, and there are some questionable things, they don’t interfere with the reading experience. I would say that there is realism, despite how unlikely, in the tale. The diversity and religion touches are not over the top, yet the author is daring enough. Jewel is something very realistic in our current world as a unification metaphor. It may or may not last long.

Overall, this is an unusual read, but I really enjoy the creativity and everything that is put together until the last page.

5 stars

BOO

Edit: I thought I had published this, but apparently it stayed in Draft. Oh well.

I met a long-time friend last week, driving all the way to the airport early in the morning so that I could catch up with her for two hours. She was in town, in transit for an article's job in a magazine.

I don't have many friends, and I have less the older I get because most time, I'd rather be alone than hanging out with those with different frequencies. But those who remain are the ones I would make a good effort with to share time and vice versa. She has been my friend for 28 years. We stayed in the same university hostel but kept in touch after we graduated and moved on with our lives. (My concept of keeping in touch is something along the lines of some WhatsApp messages every once in a while, mostly weeks or months, but every time we catch up, we click as if no time was lost.

Around perhaps seven years ago, we met in similar circumstances when she dropped by in town. But unlike our usual light chatters, she shared about things that terrified me. She tried to talk about it casually, but the horror was real to me. Her husband had raised his hand at her during the presence of her kid, and worse, chased after her when she left her house, caught up, and broke the car's window, but fortunately, she managed to reach her parents' neighbourhood, and the noise attracted a lot of people. All for unfounded jealousy about work and career (they met in the same company). I didn't know then that her household situation was that bad. She got married much later in life. I had met her husband once, who seemed like a nice person, and their stories were beautiful and unique.

I tried to be there for her, but I implied my stance that she should get out. Everything she told me was a red flag, and I can't imagine sharing a home with someone that you don't feel safe to be with. From a financial point of view, she was the breadwinner, so she really didn't have reasons to stay. She was working on infrequent projects because she tried to de-escalate some jealousy about the provider's status in her home while she could actually hold a high-paying job. Not only did he pull her back and didn't really contribute to the household, he threatened her and their child and physically attacked her. But after agreeing (strongly) with my take, she went quiet, and when we were in touch again, she said they were trying to patch up things instead of separating.

I was not in her shoes. Some people stayed, arguably, for the sake of the child; some had their reasons, and it's very common out there that DA usually involves a partner who changes their behaviour after incidents with sorry and promises. Changes, unforeseeable future, and perceived stigma can be terrifying. It's extremely hard that I couldn't do much. We stay far away, so I can only make myself available any time she needs me. She hardly wants to touch on the subject again, but every time she does, I try to be supportive and never judgmental, which, honestly, is not easy, but I don't want to push her away. From what I know, they are doing okay. He didn't go to that level again, but their relationship was broken; they were merely two adults staying together with a kid, and she was still almost the sole breadwinner.

I would never think that this could happen to her. She is strong, smart, independent, and someone with very strong principles about people she wants to hang out with. If she didn't tell me, I would never know. People could struggle without showing it; desperations could be hidden behind smiles. Picture-perfect and happy lives can hide a lot of things we don't know. And these stories are way too common. They shouldn't.

It's Halloween, everyone. I don't celebrate it, but some of you do. I hope the horror in your lives is only something along with the spooky costumes and decorations. Please seek help and support if you need to. And please take care.

                                                                                                                                                                    

RIP Laptop

Two weeks ago, there was a blackout in my area. I thought nothing of it, even though it was quite unusual. The power was back after one and a half hours and went off again. Finally, in the afternoon, the power was up, and I put on my computer to catch up with things I should have done. Not too long after it was on, the screen went black.

My laptop was old in today’s standard. It was almost ten years old and had gone through a lot of life preservations. I had changed the screen after I endured the grain-sized dead pixel that grew as big as a ping pong ball, which was troublesome, but I held on until all it showed was lines; the screen was dead. The hinges had become uncontrollable, and I changed that too, and the adaptor went off, so I bought a second hand. Everytime I had to carry it around, I’d treat it like a big, square egg. Family members were asked to stay away from it, and I had it stationed at home so I didn’t risk carrying it around. I knew the time was near, but I liked the laptop; it allowed me to do many things and had been with me for a long time.

After waiting for the diagnosis for a long, agonizing week, it was declared unsavable. The VGA was dead, that even if I disabled it, the voltage wasn’t enough to function. It would cost a lot without a guarantee of a better time ahead. Most likely, the power cut had fried it because it only relied on power as the battery had lost its function, which was another thing I needed to replace if I had wanted to minimize the risk in the future.

It was not a good time to acquire a new laptop, but I was left with no other choice. Since I practically hadn’t held a new gadget for a long time (my phone is almost eight now), it was eye-opening for me. Everything comes preset, but not to the user’s advantage in terms of privacy. It was scary for me to open Word for the first time, and it said that the document was automatically saved in the cloud. What? I know it’s a common practice now and call me old-fashioned, but I don’t need that, I don’t want that, and I don’t trust that, especially in Terminator era. Local is fine! I had to exercise various way to prevent it. I also had to disable and took off permissions of many other things. It took me hours because I was not familiar with the new settings. Basically, everything is allowed. It reminds me of those pre-approved insurance or pre-subscribed stuff that you have to go through the extra length to get rid of instead off signing up voluntarily.

Maybe you are not as paranoid as me, but be careful all. It’s not paranoid if they are out to get you! Hehe.

Awakening the Other Way (Marcel Eschauzier)

 

Reading this book feels like I am sitting opposite a relative I haven’t met for a long time and trapped in a circle of conversation that I try so hard to understand. At some point, I nod my head in agreement. At others, I can’t really digest the concept and keep throwing my glance at the door, looking for an escape.

I am a mood reader; I need to be in a reading mood/situation to get started, but once I’m in, it depends on the book to keep me there. Unfortunately, I have to admit that it takes me so long and so many tries to finish this book.

Personally, it feels like I am given a long preach, complicated mixtures of words and their meanings that I didn’t realize I needed because it doesn’t really impact how I live my life or my own philosophy.

The author is undoubtedly knowledgeable, but there are many bold claims that I’m not sure how he gets the conclusion, and there are many doubts about things that I didn’t know needed to be doubted. We are talking about the physical world that doesn’t cause our existence, the color of blue, whether the trees make sounds, which comes first, physical brain or consciousness, or how we cannot know reality─at all! And more. Who determines these claims, and which concepts are wrong or right?

The way the book flows is also a bit all over the place for me. The author mentioned it near the end of the book about similar feedback, and yes, I feel the same. I also find the fictional dialogues with real people cringe and questionable.

To sum it all up, the book is not for me. I struggled but finished it, but I can’t say I learned much from it. However, I respect the author for putting something he believes in with so much effort. Maybe I am not enlightened, and perhaps this is just not my cup of tea, so don’t take my word for it. I would take some good reasoning out of it, just like how I adapt to other philosophies, beliefs, or theories, and leave the rest.

3 out of 5 stars

Research Then and Now

I remember scouring a musty library to search for a book two decades ago. One book, because that was the only reliable source available. I took a two-hours bus from my uni and reached the library ten minutes before three o’clock. They denied my entry because three o’clock was closing time.

I didn’t have another day because it was the earliest I could escape from my lectures, so I begged for kindness from the sadistic, grinning librarian to let me in for just that ten minutes. She eventually agreed and told me the register would be closed at three sharp. (Yeah, I get that I am the one wrong here for my inability to reach earlier, but you should see the satisfied widest grin she had while I was catching my breath after running from the bus stop and climbing three flights of stairs).

I was a top sprinter in uni, and oh, trust me I really sprinted (as quiet as possible, of course), and tried to squint at the row of books. There was some library coding that would help, but not with the time frame I had. So yeah, I didn’t get the book or only had another chance to go back to the library very close to my paper’s deadline.

So, despite being driven mad by modern technology sometimes, I like it; I need it. The need is not the fun part, as I have seen people from the older generation struggle to keep up, as in some places we are required to install a plethora of apps in order to keep up with society, but that is the rant for another day.

Because of technology, knowledge is practically within reach. If we want to know about something, learn something, or engage in educative discussions, it’s easier than ever now. In fact, it’s so easy that it’s difficult to differentiate which information is fake, so we need to take it with more than a grain of salt to research something, but if you are critical enough, they are out there.

By looking at someone’s browsing history, I think it wouldn’t be hard to draw a good number of conclusions about that said person unless it’s the browsing history for writers or curious people who love to read about random knowledge. What kind of drug is suitable to paralyze someone but not kill them? What kind of stab wound looks convincingly fatal but gives the protagonist a chance to escape? What kind of fictional biomedical advancement is believable? Is cryonics a scam or an opportunity? Etc etc.

It would be fun when someone looks at that browser history and tries to create a profile.

Just a random thought, after I realize the number of tabs I had about stab wounds the other day. Nothing to see here.

The Age of Discovery: The Travels and Adventures of Marco Polo Throughout China and the Mongol Empire, Volume I (Joe Lee Roger)

I think this is the most entertaining history book I have ever read. The book follows the journey of Marco Polo, but instead of boring recalling of the trips, it includes fun snippets, exciting information about the culture of places he visited, how he viewed them, and the precious, here and there—a little bit, not too much—author's commentaries that are both funny and sarcastic. The comparison of the modern-day in the language at that time at the end of the book is also a gem. 

 The journey went along places/cultures that I know a little bit of history of, or quite familiar with the modern setting, or some tales were so bizarre that I did a little reading about them here and there. I googled what argali looks like, and I read about Dragoian Pidie. In my little hometown, there was a famous TV series told from the point of view of conquered Genghis Khan's area. I didn't know its history, significance, and accuracy until I was older, thinking it was just some entertaining tale, so it was fun to read it from things beyond my knowledge from an explorer's observation. 

I can't help but imagine myself doing that, going somewhere blindly, unsure about who and what you are going to encounter; after all, there are no social media, Google, or digital maps to guide you. I am old enough to experience navigating by asking, looking at natural landmarks, and using paper maps and ancient compasses. Still, I knew what to expect with little chance of meeting cannibal tribes, spouses for rent, or unknown 'supernatural' natural phenomena. 

Overall, it was a great read. Plus point, I am also pleased that Marco Polo sort of confirmed my lifelong suspicion that rhinoceros are fat unicorns. 

 5 100% alfresco priests out of 5 goriest research field trips.