Locky is not a fool
and knows how to enjoy a beach day and make that bath worth it!
ONE: The hitmanS
You get what you pay for.
This was what a Chinese
Developer thought when he hired a hitman to kill his competitor because he was
sued over a project dispute. At the price of 2 million Yuan (around $282,800),
that should be enough to get a good quality hitman, or so he thought, and got
Hitman 1.
Hitman 1 happily took the
job, and with his impeccable business instinct, he hired Hitman 2. Why should
he do the job if he could hire others for half the price and get the work done
without getting his hands dirty? He was a genius! However, the idea was not
exclusive. Gone were the days when we saw the John-Wick-alike kind of hitman;
they all turned into entrepreneurs! So, Hitman 2 hired Hitman 3 with even less
price, Hitman 3 hired Hitman 4, and Hitman 4 hired Hitman 5. That was a
synchronization of teamwork we had never seen before. However, once it got to
Hitman 5, the amount of money was not lucrative anymore; it was also quite
insufficient to hire another tier of hitman. With that in mind, Hitman 5 let
the murder target know about the plan. They staged a murder, and all the hitman
wannabes and the mastermind were caught.
TWO: The elusive escapee
Speaking about cool movie
characters (Yes, I like John Wick. I believe anyone who loves dogs like John
Wick), there was a time when police in the Irish Republic faced the challenge
of a serial traffic offender. This guy was so skillful he evaded tons of traffic
violations by giving the authorities a different address every time, continued
to break the traffic law, and always escaped the consequences. We are talking
about fifty of them. Fifty! And I can't even win one game of hide and seek with
my dog.
The police scratched their
heads and were convinced they were dealing with a mastermind, 'The Fine
Evader,' 'The Road Flash,' and 'The Asphalt Avenger' were the allocated
supervillain names—by me. So, who was this traffic offender that had reached
the legendary and cult level among the Irish traffic police?
Spoiler alert: his name was
Prawo Jazdy. And who is this Prawo Jazdy? Prawo Jadzy is actually not a person
but a Polish term for a driving license. Polish people were, and I believe
still are, one of Ireland's most significant immigrant populations. So, there
were over fifty times when the police wrote down the first line they saw on
these offenders' driving licenses instead of their actual names, which led to
the hunt for this mythical escapee.
For those who like to watch
and read weird random things on the internet, you might have heard those
stories before. For those who haven't, both are legit, they really happened and
are out there in the news. Both stories amused me and made me laugh out loud in
the middle of the night.
Happy April Fools' Day.
I don't do pranks, and I am
not a recipient of pranks from random acquaintances. I have that kind of face
that my schoolmates and colleagues think twice before they pull one on me. I
hope! There are times I make exceptions for people I am close with, but we
don't do those annoying elaborate pranks, just harmless, endearing ones, and
they are not confined to April Fools. One of the most memorable pranks I got
was the incident I called 'ball-less mouse,' No, we didn't catch the mouse and
castrate it. Gen X-ers would understand that computer mouse/mice (?) used to
have balls. The balls were removable for cleaning because they could get sticky
over time, but no ball or cursor! I realize it's impossible to talk about balls
without them sounding like innuendos. One morning, I almost pulled my hair out
because I couldn't find the cursor. I am not a patient person when things
break. Growing frustrated, I moved the mouse frantically with a little bit of
slamming, but it still didn't work. It went on repeatedly until I heard an
eruption of laughter. Someone had stolen my mouse's ball.
